i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
