let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
