I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
