And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
