is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize