So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
