Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
