so that wasnt chicken after all
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
