It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
