Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
