drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
