I will die if light touches me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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