i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
