its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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