How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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