just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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