please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
there is glitter all over my balls
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
