How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
birth control should be required to get into college
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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