No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
