You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
