idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
