where does the pee come out of this thing
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
