The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
