is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
