no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
