Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
