Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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