hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize