I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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