Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am one with the molecules
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
COCAINE IS GR8
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
