buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
