He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
