We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
