I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will be naked everywhere
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We need to get me chipped asap
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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