I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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