pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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