Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
