And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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