don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
