So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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