I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
