Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
