'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize