So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
