There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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