HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We are two peas in an std pod
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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