Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
