Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
