I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
