hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
