shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
