Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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