I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
