Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
