i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I want her autograph on my taint
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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