New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
