I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
