ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
