I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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