that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
