whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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