I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
