I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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