don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
