She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
