she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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