Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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