Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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