I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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