if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
