Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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