You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
