And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
