You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize