my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
