xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The air taste purple.
Randomize
