i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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